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Let the Mighty Eagle Soar

In the long and ghastly tradition of Christian singing statesmen, John Ashcroft cuts loose with a passionate rendition of his latest hit, "Let the Eagles Soar (as They've Never Soared Before)". For modem users, it's streaming and doesn't take long to load. This is worth checking out.

posted by AES on Friday, March 01, 2002 | link to this post |


The end is not near, it's here

"Amy Fisher and Tonya Harding will box on Fox in a one-hour March 13 special (9 p.m. ET/PT). The three-fight card — When Celebrities Attack, perhaps? — also features a battle of the former network stars, as The Partridge Family's Danny Bonaduce dukes it out with The Brady Bunch's Barry Williams for three two-minute rounds. A yet-to-be-announced bout also is planned.

"The pugilists, who will wear weighted gloves and protective headgear, will get boxing training before the fights, to be taped next week before a studio audience."

Of course I'm gonna watch it. Party at my apartment!

posted by AES on Thursday, February 28, 2002 | link to this post |

Eye on Kentucky: Stuffed pig fracas at the Miss Congeniality Contest

via Obscurestore

"Tension over “Miss Congeniality’s” talent presentation — which included roping a stuffed pig — escalated to the point that a college employee now faces a misdemeanor assault charge for allegedly grabbing the student during a pageant rehearsal."

And they say the South will never die.

posted by AES on Thursday, February 28, 2002 | link to this post |

Another Corporate Team-Building Exercise Goes Horribly Wrong

via Obscurestore

"It was meant to build confidence, but 30 managers of the KFC fast food restaurant were left nursing sore feet after a firewalk did not go as planned. Twenty people were taken to Hunter Valley hospitals, seven with deep burns to their feet and 13 with less serious injuries, after the bonding exercise went wrong."

For a picture of the sore feet, click here (not disgusting).

posted by AES on Thursday, February 28, 2002 | link to this post |

Washington DC--Secretary Rumsfeld said today that the Defense Department's Office of Strategic Overreach (DOD-OSO; pronounced "dodo so") would continue to operate, despite the wave of negative publicity generated last week when a congressional oversight committee publicly questioned the value of overreaching in response to acts of terror abroad. Dismissing such concerns, Rumsfeld claimed that "when you're on a war footing like this, you need to keep all your options open. These folks are helping us understand how to respond to a wide range of terror-like situations as they arise in unusual environments. Plus you've got to give these people a chance, they've only been up and running for a few months." President Bush made no mention of the DOD-OSO in his latest press briefing on Wednesday.

posted by p on Thursday, February 28, 2002 | link to this post |


Actually, Pedro, I think this is the decade we've arrived in:

"'Compak Mania,' a recent 30-second commercial introducing Tampax's new compact tampon with an extendable plastic applicator, is an exuberant homage to the go-go '60s: Backed by a punchy brass instrumental track punctuated by the high-pitch squeals of female fans, the spot unleashes a succession of images patterned after the circular motifs of late-'60s modernism- a grid of daisies, a ripple of bubbles, a splayed fan of tampons. Go-go dancers appear in silhouette, twisting to the beat. Throughout, titles pop up exhorting 'Plastic,' 'Astounding,' 'Extendable,' 'Inspiring,' 'Discreet.' The spot closes to a final burst of hysterical screams." (Print, July/Aug 2000)

Attempts at escape: don't use big brand tampons (if you're female). They contain chlorine bleach, which combines with organic matter to form dioxins and have been shown to cause cancer in the female reproductive tract. Buy the organic cotton ones or, better yet, get yourself a Keeper.

Didn't mean for this post to turn into an environmental/feminist lecture.

posted by AES on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 | link to this post |

Simian Font is in the house

From their advertisement in Print magazine:

"House Industries Simian font family resonates the sensibilities of a post-modern apocalyptic planet. The new collection features three weights of Simian typeface in both text and display variations plus the lettering of Ape culture's sacred scrolls...The collection ships on a mini CD with exclusive tracks from DJ Food's Strictly Kev. Each Simian kit also comes with a custom leather Simian wallet.

For all your monkey clients. I just want that wallet, or one of the Simian posters.

posted by AES on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 | link to this post |

After the age of irony, it's time for the New Surrealism: Think Audrey Hepburn with the pink handbag, on acid, dancing with the aged Mick Jagger in a gazebo set in the infield of the Daytona 500. That's the decade we're living in.

posted by p on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 | link to this post |

The latest attitude (from NYC sources): The jaded, world-weary strung-out look of the 90s is out. Now you must appear not only bored, but aggressively uninterested in whatever it is you're doing. Inappropriate humor is in. That is, giggling, mixed with sheepishness. A Jeremy Scott-meets-Ralph Lauren vibe.

posted by p on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 | link to this post |


Dick Cheney's Undisclosed Location

Metafilter has unveiled Dick Cheney's secret hideout thanks to a security snafu at the Olympic games. Personally, I think Cheney's dead and a Cheney robot appears on the Sunday talk wanker shows. Or else Cheney IS Osama Bin Laden (have you ever seen the two together? I didn't think so.) But, apparently, according to new information, he's hiding somewhere in Washington D.C.

posted by AES on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 | link to this post |

Rageboy responds to Dvorak

In his latest diatribe, Chris Locke gives it right back to John Dvorak for his recent article in PC Magazine:

" In his latest content-free column on PC Magazine, we learn bromides such as "life is too long" and read cute mumbo jumbo about such things as "the brown-nosing that goes on between bloggers singing each others' praises." I rolled my eyes so much I got as dizzy as this cult-inspired ding-dong must have been when he sat down to write this shit.

"They're right!" Dvorak writes. "I don't get it."

"Well, John, you can certainly say that again. But I hope you'll get this: blow me, you dumb motherfucker! "

posted by AES on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 | link to this post |

Chilling Effects Clearinghouse

And I thought I was going to be the only one to blog this. The Chilling Effect Clearinghouse, a joint effort of the Electric Frontier Foundation and Harvard, Stanform, Berkeley, and University of San Francisco law school clinics, has unveiled their website. The Clearinghouse has a wealth of information about your rights in the Internet environment regarding online anonymity and privacy, intellectual property, defamation, and a growing database of Cease and Desist letters (and advice on how to deal with them).

What was I saying about the RIAA this morning?

posted by AES on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 | link to this post |

Girls Just Want to Be Mean

NYT (registration required)

This Sunday's magazine has a fabulous article about aggression in middle and high school girls. Lots of great descriptions of Queen Bees, Wannabes, Alpha Girls, and the pain of watching former friends move up the social ladder at your expense.

I think this article is important not only because it brings to adult awareness the complex sociological interactions among adolescent girls (in Western schools), but actually points out that the gossiping and back-stabbing that goes on is very hurtful and tantamount to bullying in many cases.

I think I was so nerdy in high school I was totally oblivious to this kind of social jockeying. It seemed much worse at my Catholic elementary school, where boy craziness started in 4th grade. Thank god most girls grow out of this.

posted by AES on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 | link to this post |

A Boxed Set in One File? Online Music Finds a Way

People are making zip files out of entire albums and then putting them online for download, a process of music exchange that is much faster and easier than downloading individual MP3's. Excellent.

This quote from Peter Paterno, the attorney representing Metallica and Dr. Dre against Napster, is a priceless gem: "If I were in charge, I would put viruses everywhere on these services," he said. "That would stop Little Johnny from stealing this stuff."

Burn in hell RIAA.

posted by AES on Tuesday, February 26, 2002 | link to this post |


Kava Kava and Yerba Mate: Herbs of the Southern Hemisphere

.." I reached the place of our bivouac by sunset, and drinking much mate, soon made up my bed for the night. The wind was very strong and cold, but I never slept more comfortably "..

--Charles Darwin, Voyage of the Beagle, 1836

I stopped drinking coffee nearly three weeks ago, and since then having been drinking Yerba Mate ("the spirit of the rainforest", as the bag advertises). Though it contains caffeine, it's much milder than coffee, plus it contains of minerals I don't get enough of (iron, potassium, calcium). So I was reading up on it this evening- a lot of websites sell mate gourds (the traditional beverage holder for mate), not much info on the chemical properties.

Kava Kava is another story. I bought 2 oz. at the health food store a couple weeks ago, and the guy behind the counter told me it would "get me high". I had heard about kava being used as an herbal aid for relaxation, and wanted to see if it worked. Reading stories such as the following intrigued me even further:

"I drink kava each Friday evening, after a week's worth of teaching high schoolers. Ordinarily on Fridays, the events of the week loop repeatedly yet pointlessly through my mind. Kava's relaxing properties allow me to drop this loop, and concentrate on whatever I like. Nicest of all is the way kava affects my dreams. On kava nights, my dreams involve long, epic voyages through blue-green seas, populated by strange, friendly water animals. Like last night - my travel and conversation partner was a manatee with violet eyes. "

Sounds good to me. I made a french press full this evening, and it doesn't taste as bad as everyone claims. It does produce relaxing results, and my tongue is a little numb. Hopefully I won't develop scaly skin as a result (one of the "side effects" of kava drinking).

posted by AES on Monday, February 25, 2002 | link to this post |

"The Fast and the Furious" blamed for rise in St. Paul auto thefts

'"The Fast and the Furious," a film about street-racing car thieves, was considered road kill by most critics when it came out last year.' reports the Star Tribune.

'Last year in St. Paul there was an increase of greater than 50 percent in the number of stolen Hondas, the cars featured in the movie. The Honda Civic was the second-most-stolen model last year, behind the Toyota Camry.'

'[Cmdr. Tim Lynch of the St. Paul Police Department] attributes that growing popularity to "The Fast and the Furious," which glamorized middle-of-the-night races on city streets or highways. Most of the cars were standard vehicles souped up to reach speeds as high as 180 miles per hour.'

I have been meaning to see this movie and now it's been bumped up to #1 on my list.

posted by AES on Monday, February 25, 2002 | link to this post |

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