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3/22/2002  

Burn in Hell, Jack Valenti, Because it Will be a Cold Day When Fritz Holling's Legislation Passes

And your little dog Hilary Rosen, too.

posted by AES on Friday, March 22, 2002 | link to this post |
 

Cyborg Strip-Searched by Air Canada

El Reg reports that "Professor Steve Mann of the University of Toronto, who describes himself as a cyborg, attempted to board a flight at St. John's, Newfoundland wearing "computerized glasses, headgear and electronic body suit". He was stopped and "subjected to an extensive search". So extensive that he missed his flight, and was unable to get another flight for two days. "

Steve Mann, aka, the "Toronto Terminator" is suing the airline for discrimination. Last time I looked, cyborgs were not a protected minority, but his lawyer is pushing the case, saying, ""Basically, we are going to argue Professor Mann was discriminated against because he is a cyborg."

"You can laugh at that, but I don't see the difference between showing up at the airport in a wearable computer, and showing up in a wheelchair.

"My client is a cyborg, not a terrorist."

posted by AES on Friday, March 22, 2002 | link to this post |


3/21/2002  

New Nixon Tapes Revelations

Reporting the contents of the latest Nixon tapes, Gene Weingarten describes Nixon's rants about the usual stuff- Jews, dope, homosexuality, commie pinkos, the pope. But to me the Archie Bunker crisis is the real meat of this article:

"Archie is sitting here with his hippie son-in-law, married to the screwball daughter. . . . The son-in-law apparently goes both ways."

Nixon seems to have concluded, against all evidence, that Meathead is bisexual. Possibly it is the length of his hair. Another character in the show, Nixon reports, is "obviously queer. He wears an ascot, and so forth."

The president is outraged that this filth should appear on TV:

"The point that I make is that, goddamn it, I do not think that you glorify on public television homosexuality. You don't glorify it, John, anymore than you glorify, uh, whores."

The president asserts that America is in jeopardy from this Archie Bunker gay thing:

"I don't want to see this country to go that way. You know what happened to the Greeks. Homosexuality destroyed them. Sure, Aristotle was a homo, we all know that, so was Socrates."

Ehrlichman interrupts to reassure his boss. Socrates, he says, "never had the influence that television had."
As Weingarten puts it, "Well, that was 31 years ago, and I am happy to report that the Jew-homo-doper-Commie-shrink-lefty-pope cabal has not, to date, destroyed us. Nixon seems to have been wrong on this one."

posted by AES on Thursday, March 21, 2002 | link to this post |
 

Quote of the Day:

"They snatched him so hard, his pants came off," Scott said. "He was ready to get out of there; he looked like the Swamp Thing."

The suspect was carted off to jail, but Sykes employees still had his pants and the pink bicycle he rode to the restaurant.

posted by AES on Thursday, March 21, 2002 | link to this post |
 

Arnold Schwarzenegger Commissions Bust of President Reagan

My head is still spinning from looking at that horrid picture. That's it. I'm moving to France.

posted by AES on Thursday, March 21, 2002 | link to this post |
 

Scientists Soak Meat in Liquid to Make It Grow
(via Metafilter)

I can't even comment on something like this. The title says it all.

"Chunks of goldfish muscle grew 14 percent after a week immersed in a nutrient-enriched liquid extracted from the blood of unborn calves, the New York-based scientists found."


Goldfish muscle chunks soaked in a serum made from the blood of unborn calves...it's what's for dinner.

posted by AES on Thursday, March 21, 2002 | link to this post |


3/20/2002  

The Context Machine
(via Rageboy)

Your tax dollars at work:

"The ability to determine context would be an incredible boon for marketing. If a wearable computer could determine its user’s context, it would be able to suggest the product which would be perfect to correct whatever problems the user is facing. Whether the user would necessarily consider this a boon is debatable. "

posted by AES on Wednesday, March 20, 2002 | link to this post |


3/19/2002  

The Most Offensive Man in the World (besides Andrew Horowitz)
(via Metafilter)

"Joseph J. Sabia is a Ph.D. candidate in economics [RED FLAG!!!!!] at Cornell University, where he has spent his entire academic career. He specializes in the fields of labor economics and public choice. Sabia earned a B.S. in policy analysis and an M.S. in consumer economics and housing, in 1997 and 2000, respectively. He has served on the Boards of Directors of The First Amendment Coalition, Ivy Leaguers for Freedom, and the Cornell College Republicans. Sabia was a staff member of The Cornell Review from 1998-2001."

Some of his recent columns include "College Girls: Unpaid Whores", "Jew-Baiting Sources Unchallenged by Daily Sun, Cornell News Service", and the always classic "Christmas Musings".

I hate to even draw attention to this guy. But it's just so bad...

posted by AES on Tuesday, March 19, 2002 | link to this post |
 

Million Clown March

Everyone knows how I feel about clowns. They scare me. But, nevertheless, from a safe distance of 10 states away, this is cute:

"As long as one clown is oppressed, no man is free," Thunder continued.

"The Million Clown March was organized by Thunder and friends. While a few short of the sought-after million, the pack met at Saturn Cafe on Pacific Avenue and marched toward the new Cooper House.

"The noisy assemblage stopped in front of the usual protest locations, chanting "Our clothes are better than yours!" in front of the Gap and "Double mocha lattes!" at Starbucks.

"At the conclusion of the march, the clowns piled into three very small cars and repaired to the Boardwalk Bowl for a night of "clowning, drinking and karaoke," according to organizer."

posted by AES on Tuesday, March 19, 2002 | link to this post |
 

It's Only a Matter of Time

...before this jackass finds himself in a library science program.

"So far, my Yale degree has secured me an e-mail forwarding address and a lifetime of alumni dues notices. Not exactly what I expected.

"I was an English major which, for most people, roughly translates into "I have no marketable skills." But that's not so. I have many valuable skills honed during my days with Dickens, my nights with Nabokov, those wee hours with Woolf.

"First of all, you know I can read. And I don't mean read like "Hooked on Phonics" read. I can read long, wordy, small printed works with relative speed and what's more, I can remember what I have read and write long, wordy, papers about it without any trouble. I have developed impressive analytical skills. I am trained to think -- really think -- about everything I read. And I am accomplished at putting those thoughts on paper.

"So where does that all leave me? Unemployed."

Poor guy.

posted by AES on Tuesday, March 19, 2002 | link to this post |
 

Art Manifesto

Art today is incapacitated by the problem mentioned below, the public's conditioned incredulity toward any image that claims to depict reality or its antithesis.

"Historically, surrealism was an art movement of ideas that developed between World Wars I and II and was very prolific. However, today the viewer automatically accepts surrealist imagery." (From massurrealism.com)

My solution is to obliterate perspective, to forcibly transport the viewer away from all perceived references, both natural and artificial. My work leaves the viewer too dizzy to think, to process media distortions into the relentless banality of contemporary mass culture. I invite the viewer to permanently depart the earth and its corrupted human landscapes, to seek the novel where it might still be found.

posted by p on Tuesday, March 19, 2002 | link to this post |
 

All The World Needs Is...Another Librarian (from nytimes.com)

Take 1: The physics crank who paid a year’s salary to get his ideas published in the New York Times:

“Some scientists said they were puzzled that Dr. Robitaille did not post his paper on the free non-peer- reviewed Web site where virtually all astronomers have begun placing their new results in recent years, www.arXiv.org/archive/astro-ph. "I did not know about this Web site," Dr. Robitaille said.

Take 2: The Rock ‘N Roll Hall of Fame

Anthony Kiedis of the Red Hot Chili Peppers introduced the Talking Heads, saying that hearing the band gave him a new sensation: "I wanted to have sex with a lot of librarians."

posted by p on Tuesday, March 19, 2002 | link to this post |


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